Quit not quitting!

Well, the month of silence is due to not being able to carry through the commitment to stopping smoking and the subsequent shame...

I struggled after 5 days and had a lapse which put me right back where I was before. I can't make any excuses for it, I found reasons to delay stopping which is not good enough.

I'm currently trying to cut down to a position where I can stop from when I am ready again.

In the meantime, I'm still going to the gym 5-6 days a week and keeping fit. Weight is under control, 95kg down from 114kg in March. Blood pressure is totally normal. All of that means nothing though - smoking is a killer, end of story.